


Lay me down to sleep (wake me with the morning light)

by maharetr



Series: Imagine Bucky - maharetr post [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Comfort, Dentistry, Domestic, Hurt/Comfort, I have Feelings about how well Bucky would cope with medical-anything, M/M, Medical Procedures, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, and this was about the best I could see it going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 12:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4262733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maharetr/pseuds/maharetr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not until Steve impulsively sneaks a kiss to Bucky’s left jaw and Bucky flinches away, wincing, that Steve clicks that something’s really wrong.</p><p>“It’s fine,” Bucky says before Steve can even open his mouth. “I’ve had way worse than this, Rogers.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay me down to sleep (wake me with the morning light)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Imagine Bucky tumblr](http://imaginebucky.tumblr.com/) anon prompt: "Imagine Bucky at the dentist". Originally posted [here](http://imaginebucky.tumblr.com/post/120101615106/imagine-bucky-at-the-dentist-inspired-by-a) 28 May 2015.
> 
> Title from the [Traditional prayer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Now_I_Lay_Me_Down_to_Sleep).

Steve kicks himself for not noticing sooner. There were plenty of signs: Bucky chewing on the right side of his mouth and switching to sleeping on his right shoulder. But it’s not until Steve impulsively sneaks a kiss to Bucky’s left jaw and Bucky flinches away, wincing, that Steve clicks that something’s really wrong.

“It’s fine,” Bucky says before Steve can even open his mouth. “I’ve had way worse than this, Rogers.”

“But you’re hurting,” Steve objects. They have this argument a lot, about a hundred pains that horrify Steve and leave Bucky shrugging in apparent indifference. “Tony has dentists on staff, we -.”

“I don’t need anyone poking around in my mouth, okay? It’s fine.”

Steve manages to drop it for a whole forty minutes, until near the end of supper and Steve is eying the amount of food still on Bucky’s plate.

“Dentistry’s come a hell of a long way since we were kids,” he says, cautiously. Bucky glares, but doesn’t immediately cut him short. “There’s all sorts of pain relief available, now - good stuff that works on me, even. You don’t even have to be awake. We - .”

“ _No_.” Bucky jerks back, half on his feet. “I don’t want anyone poking at me, and I _definitely_ don’t want anyone sedating me. Christ.”

“Okay,” Steve says hurriedly, because Bucky is almost trembling. “Sorry.”

They do the dishes and pretend to watch a movie, until Bucky inches across the couch and presses against Steve’s side. Steve cautiously wraps his arm around Bucky’s shoulder and waits.

“They’d revive me and I never knew what year it was, or what they’d done to me while I was out, or what they were going to do to me, or ….”

Steve wraps both arms around him, helplessly.

“I would be there,” Steve promises. “Every minute of it, I’d be there with you.”

They sit quietly for a long time.

“Maybe,” Bucky manages. “I … maybe.”

~*~

Steve calls Pepper the next morning. She sends him a list of the best trauma-trained dental surgeons in the city, and doesn’t include their hourly rate. Steve bets that HYDRA mostly hired men and cuts the list by two-thirds at a glance. Checking for drop-of-a-hat availability clarifies things down to a much more manageable number of one.

It means that a few nights later when Bucky ends up in the bathroom retching in pain, Steve’s already mentally rehearsing the phone call when Bucky sits back, shaking, and whispers: “Okay. Okay.”

~*~

Her name is Dr.Griffiths, and she turns up at 9am in jeans and a T-shirt. “I’m Alison,” she says.

“James,” Bucky says, and doesn’t shake her hand. Pepper’s set them up in one of the smaller hangout rooms of the tower: couches and side tables, and nothing at all like the medical wing upstairs.

“This is just a preliminary meeting,” Alison says. “I’d like to get a sense of what you’d like done, and how you’d like to go about it.”

Bucky shrugs, tensely. “I have a tooth. It hurts.” She nods like this is useful.

“How long’s it been hurting?”

“Coupla months, maybe.”

Steve tries to hide his wince. He’d had no idea.

“Maybe longer than that?” Alison asks, and Bucky shrugs in a way that means ‘yes.’ She makes a note. “Can you tell which tooth?” Bucky shakes his head.

“Not anymore. A bottom one.” He floats his left hand near his jaw.

She nods again. “There are a couple of methods that mean you don’t have to be fully unconscious,” she says. Bucky tenses preemptively. “Some people find hypnosis to be -.”

“ _No_ ,” Bucky says. Steve startles at the vehemence, but she just nods.

“Okay. Have you heard of twilight sleep?”

Bucky doesn’t so much flinch as tense further under Steve’s hand. “I think I’ve had it,” Bucky says, carefully. “I don’t think it works on me like it’s supposed to. It’s not an option.”

Another neutral nod, and another note. “Wanting to be fully unconscious is common,” she says, mildly. “There are options there too: gas or intravenous are the main ones.”

“Gas is…?” Bucky mimes holding an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, shudders, and shakes his head.

“IV means a needle in your arm and a tube that we run the meds through. You’d have a blood pressure cuff on your arm, and a heart monitor on your finger.”

Bucky doesn’t look at all happy, but he nods. “I think I can do that. I need Steve here, for all of it.”

“Of course.”

He shudders in a breath. “Could - could we just do it now? Right now?”

She barely blinks. “I’ve checked out the facilities upstairs and spoken to the medical staff here, they’re more than what we need. Yes, we can.”

She planned for that, Steve realizes, and his respect for her jumps sharply.

Bucky is pale, his hand is starting to shake. “Can we do the first part here?”

“You can go under here, and wake up here,” Alison says, and Bucky nods. He’s fighting to keep his breathing even. He turns his face into Steve’s chest the moment she opens her bag. “Just gloves going on,” she narrates quietly while Steve rubs Bucky’s back. “Tourniquet … Cold bit – swabbing.” Bucky holds perfectly still for the IV insertion, although even Steve closes his eyes for that bit.

“There we go,” she says, taping the port to Bucky’s arm. “That’s the hardest bit for a lot of people. You’re doing great.”

Bucky is leaking tears against Steve’s chest, but he’s coherent enough to nod permission for her to start the initial dose.

“So good,” Steve whispers into the top of Bucky’s head.

“…fucking _hate_ this,” Bucky manages, voice slurring. Steve’s chest aches, but he keeps stroking Bucky’s hair. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m here.”

Bucky slumps slowly against Steve, and it’s the most relaxed Steve’s seen him in way too long.

He carries Bucky upstairs to the medical wing, and, well, Steve’s always had a distaste of hospitals, but maybe Bucky’s rubbing off on him – he winces at the heavy antiseptic smell and the trays of equipment. He keeps on hand on Bucky’s ankle, even if he can’t always bear to watch what they’re doing, and he talks aimlessly and steadily whenever his voice will carry over the drilling.

“Abscess,” Alison says mildly at one point. “Smaller than anticipated.”

It still feels like forever until Alison puts down her tools, sits up, and stretches.

“We’re done, James,” she says to Bucky. “And you came through like a champ.”

Steve carries him back downstairs, Alison close behind.

“You’re both going to smell of the dentist’s for a while,” she says quietly as Steve settles Bucky on a couch. “If that’s going to trigger him, wiping his skin down will help. I can watch him, if you want to shower.”

“Thank you,” Steve whispers, more than little choked up. “Thank you so much, for everything.”

She waves it off, just as quiet. “Glad I could help.”

He showers and changes at speed, grabbing things from their apartment on the way. Steve figures no HYDRA revival had ever included bedding, so he spreads their duvet over Bucky before wiping Bucky’s arms and face. He curls up with a book to wait.

Bucky comes up in slow, tiny twitches. Steve strokes the back of Bucky’s hand. “It’s okay,” Steve murmurs as Bucky tries to focus. “We’re in the tower. You’re safe.”

Bucky frowns, attempting to probe his lips with his tongue. “You had a tooth fixed,” Steve continues. “So your mouth is numb. It’s normal; it’s going to wear off.” Bucky shifts anxiously, trying to look around. “We’re on the seventh floor of Avengers tower.” Steve keeps stroking, whispering. “It’s April 2015. You were out for about three hours, everything went great.”

Bucky’s staring, but the tension is ebbing from his face. He fumbles for Steve’s hand and holds on, weakly.

“We’re gonna be here for hours,” Steve says, squeezing. “You can go back to sleep.”

“Mmmm…” Bucky manages. His eyes drift closed again. Steve rests their hands on the duvet, reaches for his book with his free hand, and settles in for the afternoon.


End file.
